Not Today

Daily Miles: 34.29 | Total Miles: 16,348.82

I woke up in my tent before 6 a.m., packed my things, had a cold coffee, and shortly before 7 a.m. I was ready to leave the campground. It was a beautiful, crisp Monday morning. I first wore my jacket as I made my way back to the River Loing and then toward the Seine, which I would follow for most of the day along a designated national cycle path.

The path was actually on the opposite side of the Loing, but I couldn't cross the bridge by myself. It was the same bridge I had crossed yesterday with the help of several people carrying my buggy and bags up and down the stairs. So I stayed on the left side, following a bumpy hiking trail until I eventually reached another bridge and could merge onto the cycle path.

It was a lovely morning. The river flowed steadily beside me, and I enjoyed its beauty and calmness. Yet most of the day was overshadowed by disappointment. Several things weren't going as planned, but the biggest issue was trying to secure a room for the night. Two rooms I had booked turned into a source of frustration and uncertainty, and throughout the day I found myself thinking about disappointment itself.

Yesterday I had written about welcoming uncertainty and ambiguity as companions. Today I would have gladly exchanged both for clarity and simple solutions. In the morning, I was convinced I could resolve some of the challenges by midday. Instead, new complications appeared and added themselves to the existing ones. It became an interesting exercise in observation. How quickly the mind can become occupied by unresolved problems. How much energy can be spent trying to find solutions that simply refuse to appear.

At the same time, I was running for hours on uneven gravel paths, pushing the buggy and occasionally wishing I could simply leave it behind and run freely. By the afternoon, I was still optimistic that things would work themselves out. They didn't. I couldn't find a solution to the specific problem I was dealing with, and eventually I had to accept that I would not resolve it today.

One thing became very clear to me, though. People can pull us out of our mental misery. Late in the day, Mohamed and his daughter Ines stopped their car to say hello. They were so genuinely happy to meet me that within moments something shifted inside me. The frustration disappeared, the heaviness disappeared, and for a few minutes I simply felt light again. It was beautiful to notice how quickly another person's warmth can change our state of mind.

Then I made another phone call and found myself right back in resentment and frustration. After more than 30 miles of running in the heat, not having eaten much, and spending hours trying to solve a problem, I could feel my patience reaching its limit. I felt sad. At the same time, I found it interesting to observe. This is life too. Not every day is magical. Not every problem has an immediate solution. Sometimes we do our best, reach the end of our energy, and simply have to accept that today is not the day the answer appears.

Eventually I arrived in Corbeil-Essonnes and checked into a different room that I had booked. There I met Alain at reception. Another wonderful human being. Another smile. Another reminder that people often make all the difference.

Tonight, I am too tired to think about solutions. I have a roof over my head, a smile on my face again, and tomorrow is another day. I am still skeptical that the problem can be resolved, sadly so, but sometimes that's life, right?

Thanks for checking in. Andrea